I'm fine
by I'mHalfSickOfShadows
Summary: Nico is fine, really. Percico. One-Shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot.**

* * *

Nico was fine. Really. Despite Jason's insistence that he needed to "accept himself" and "find someone", the son of Hades didn't feel comfortable with... well, he felt uncomfortable with the whole thing. He had tried many times to come out to the others, but when the time came he choked, made up an excuse and left as fast as possible. Hazel had guessed, noticing the longing in his eyes whenever he looked upon a certain son of Poseidon. She'd confronted him one day, deep in the woods, and let's just say that there is still a huge circle of dead grass where they had talked.

He was glad his sister knows who he is, it had improved their relationship. But it also meant he had another person to pity him. He hated their look of sympathy. He hated feeling lonely. In short, he hated pretty much everything. He used to, anyway. Now he was different. He'd accepted his fate, and stopped being angry. Anger and hatred were for situations that could be remedied, and his was unfixable. The fatal flaw of the children of Hades was holding grudges. That was because they tended to feel too deeply, love too much. Well, he'd loved deeply, and when he realized it could not be he broke his own heart in teeny tiny pieces before someone else could get to it. Since he was never properly rejected, or even acknowledged, he could pretend. And pretend he did.

He held whole conversations in his head with the boy he loved, but never talked to. It was perfect, really. This Percy always knew what to say and what to do and none of his words hurt him. His touch was gentle and kind, and when he closed his eyes he could almost convince himself that there was someone else there with him. Almost. He slept cuddled with his many extra pillows and comforters, imagining he was hugging someone else. He was always so cold, even in the summer he slept with thick blankets. He longed for somebody to keep him warm, but he would never admit that.

He was happy, he really was, as long as he ignored the way his heart clenched every now and then. But for one that had endured so much loss and pain, ignoring the tugging of his heartstrings was easy.

* * *

Percy knocked on the door of the Hades cabin. No answer. He decided to go in anyway. Smart choice, he knows.

He looked around. It had been months since he last went into that cabin. Not much had changed. It still looked barely lived in. He found Nico still sleeping on his bed. The Ghost King was hugging a pillow fiercely, while another rested between his legs. He was dwarfed by the pile of dark blankets on top of him, nearly hiding his face. In that state he looked so fragile, so innocent, so _young _that Percy's chest felt a bit constricted. He pushed back the strands of hair covering Nico's face, feeling oddly protective, and surprisingly the younger one leaned into the touch, like a needy kitten. The son of Poseidon tucked the strands behind the pale boy's ear, and the still sleeping demigod all but purred.

Percy's heart quickened and a smile graced his lips. This was Nico, with his guard down. And he was adorable, definitely squeal worthy. Wait, where did that thought come from? He shook his head, as if trying to literally shake those thoughts out, and nudged the shoulder of the sleeping figure gently.

"Nico?" he called.

The boy on the bed stirred, groaning in protest, burying his face in his pillow.

"Nico!" he called again, a bit more forcefully.

The son of Hades finally sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, but smiling softly.

"Percy?" he asked, voice scratchy from sleep. The older demigod felt inexplicably joyous that Nico seemed so happy to see him. Then, they made eye contact, and Nico's face went from rosy and cheerful to pale and sad in a fraction of a second. Percy felt his mood drop too.

"Of course it was another dream. I was just hoping it would last longer this time" Nico whispered to himself, so quietly the son of Poseidon had to almost read his lips to understand it. And what he heard was very confusing. He decided to mull it over later.

"Nico, you're supposed to help me teach sword fighting to the new kids in..." he checked his watch "fifteen minutes."

Nico's eyes widened and he jumped out of bed, revealing that he liked to sleep in rather form-fitting boxer shorts. Percy couldn't help but stare: he'd never even seen the son of Hades shirtless, it was quite a shock. The son of Hades noticed the stares on his barely clothed body, turned crimson, sent up a short prayer of gratitude (because he was wearing plain black boxers, not the ones with silly cartoons on them) and then proceeded to push the other demigod out of his cabin.

"Out, out, out! I'll meet you at the arena in ten minutes, now leave!"

Percy was shaken out of his nudity-induced stupor, and said:

"Sure. Nice underwear, by the way."

Nico turned even redder, and Percy could see he blushed all the way to his chest.

"Shut it, Jackson!" was the response, said in a voice that was about an octave higher due to severe embarrassment. Percy laughed, and Nick shoved him out of his cabin and slammed the door in his face.

He got dressed quickly, brushed his teeth and shadow travelled to the arena with three minutes to spare. There were surprised yelps upon his arrival, like every Wednesday morning, and he ignored it as usual. He nodded toward his class instead of actually speaking, and waited for the other teacher to show up.

"Nico, you're here! And fully clothed too. I'm impressed."

He tried to control his blush, but to no avail.

He unsheathed his sword and said:

"Let us begin then."

* * *

Percy panted, exhausted. It seemed Nico was really upset about the whole underwear incident, since he almost beat Percy into a pulp during their demonstration. Luckily for him, after he emptied a bottle of water on his head he was as good as new. Sword fighting practice was over now, and Nico headed for his usual place. After each practice, the son of Hades would go to his cabin to change (and presumably shower too) and then walk to the woods to do gods know what.

Since he was feeling particularly curious that day, he decided to follow the other demigod. He was hoping Nico didn't go there to shadow travel somewhere else. He kept his distance, not wanting to be seen and reprimanded (or possibly injured) by the son of Hades. He did his best to not step on crunchy leaves or twigs, but it seemed the younger half-blood was quite distracted.

Suddenly a pile of bones erupted from the ground, and Percy thought he'd been found out for sure and Nico had summoned something unspeakable to end him. He swallowed, reaching for Riptide, when the bones assembled themselves to reveal... a cat. The skeleton cat paid him no mind, and ran up to the boy in front of him, nipping at the hem of his jeans. Guessing that would make the Ghost King turn around, the son of Poseidon ducked behind a tree, just in time too. He heard the sound of a sword being unsheathed, and then a relieved sigh.

"Shadow! Don't startle me like that!" Nico chided, as if he really was reprimanding a naughty pet. Percy suppressed the need to laugh at the irony of _Nico _owning a _skeleton _cat named _Shadow_. There were so many bad puns in that sentence alone that he had to think about all the horrible things that would happen to him if he got caught to stay quiet.

When he heard a scrunching of leaves signaling that the son of Hades had turned and was on his way again, the older demigod stepped out from behind his tree and resumed his... mission. Yes, "mission" sounded a lot better than "stalking".

"Shadow, stop munching on my jeans. It's not like you can get hungry you know, must I remind you you're dead?"

They walked for a while longer until they got to a clearing, with Nico occasionally talking to his pet. Percy hid behind a tree again since he didn't fancy getting caught. The son of Hades went to the middle of the clearing and sat down, his back against a mossy log that looked old enough to be soft and comfortable. Shadow promptly curled up on his lap, and that earned him a smile.

After a few seconds Nico waved his hand over the grass and various piles of bones emerged from the soil. They rearranged themselves until the whole clearing was full of skeleton dogs, cats, kittens and puppies (Percy guessed based on size) who converged on the boy sitting against the log. He didn't look frightened or disgusted, he looked _happy. _Nico looked downright joyful after just raising half a pet cemetery.

He petted them all, greeting them by name (incredibly corny names, such as "Snowball","Mittens" and so on) and even playing fetch with the bony canines. One fleshless kitten had climbed all the way up and made a bed out of his silky hair and seemed to be asleep (Percy couldn't be sure, it didn't have any eyelids. Or eyes). It was both an adorable and sad sight. The son of Hades finally wasn't wearing a scowl on his face, but he was seeking comfort from dead pets.

Then a ground shaking bark was heard, and a hellhound burst into the clearing. Nico didn't even flinch (he couldn't really move, as there were three cats and a dog laying on top of him) and instead greeted happily:

"Mrs. O'Leary!"

The son of Poseidon prayed his hellhound wouldn't smell him and spoil his hiding place, and it seemed some god was listening, because the enormous dog simply barked again and made puppy dog eyes at the demigod that wasn't hiding behind a tree, begging for attention. Nico proceeded to set down each of the animals currently on his person down on the grass, then got up and hugged the dog around the neck, scratching behind her ears and asking who was a good girl.

Percy smiled. He really was enjoying seeing the other demigod like that. He watched as they played fetch with a bone Nico drew from the ground (it was as long as Percy's leg. He was seriously impressed that the son of Hades could throw it so easily) until they tired out and settled down. The Ghost King waved his hand again and his pets returned to their graves. Mrs. O'Leary was lying on the grass with drooping eyelids, and the pale demigod curled against her, using her soft fur as a pillow/mattress and closed his eyes. There was something in the way he clung to the dog, the way she curled around him protectively that made Percy's heart clench.

He decided that watching him sleep was so stalkerish even he wouldn't be able to deny it, so he turned to leave... and promptly stepped on a twig, which broke under his weight with a loud snap. Both demigod and hellhound startled awake (if they had even fallen asleep in the first place), the latter reaching his meager hiding spot with two huge steps and dragging him into the clearing by the scruff of his shirt like a naughty pup.

"Ow,ow, ow! Mrs. O'Leary, put me down!"

She did, and he landed on an undignified pile on the grass. He got up and brushed himself off, only to come face to face with a fuming son of Hades. There was a blush high on his cheeks, from anger - or so Percy assumed.

"Percy" Nico began in a low voice "What are you doing here? And don't try something stupid like saying you're out for a stroll, we are three miles away from camp in a rarely visited spot. The only way you got here in this particular day at this specific time is if you followed me. So spill it: why are you here?"

"I didn't follow you! I mean, if I did one of your dead pets would've told you or something, right?"

Nico's eyes widened in realization "You were already there when Shadow showed up, weren't you? That's what he wanted to tell me." he said the last part mostly to himself.

Percy nearly face palmed. In his haste to deny the accusation, he'd pretty much given himself away. Way to go, Percy. Annabeth will be _so _proud to admit to having dated you for a while. Absolutely.

"Fine, I was. But seriously, Shadow? The only name that's any worse than that is 'Bones'." he made a brave attempt at humor.

The other boy scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion, then answered:

"You think I named him? Or any of them? They already had their names, given to them by twelve year old half-bloods. Of course they're stupid." he said like it should be obvious.

"How'd you know their names? You _asked _them?" Percy said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Pretty much, yeah" he shrugged.

"Care to elaborate? Since when do you speak to animals?"

"Well, I _kind of _asked them. When I touched them the first time I could kind of tell bits of their history, like their names, breed, year of birth and, of course, date of death. Sometimes their owners too, if they were particularly fond of their former masters. I suppose it's like your ability to tell where you are at sea. It's your father's realm. My father rules the dead, understands them, and to some extent so do I. I've answered your question, but you are still avoiding mine: why did you follow me?"

Percy fidgeted on his spot, trying to form an answer that was a bit less stalkerish than the truth. He came up empty, so the said:

"They were owned by half-bloods? Which one is the most recent?"

Nico rolled his eyes, seeing that the son of Poseidon was playing for time, but answered anyway:

"The 'youngest' here died on the 70's. His name is Groovy. And, no, I'm not kidding. And before you ask, his previous master was a very kind son of Apollo who liked to heal injured animals. Now answer my question!"

Percy sighed and settled for the truth:

"I got curious about where you went after every practice." he shrugged "And I worry about you, you're always alone! This morning you actually seemed happy for once but then got sad and muttered something about it 'being another dream'. Are you having nightmares? Is that it?"

The younger demigod flushed all the way to his ears, and said:

"You were not supposed to hear that. I'm fine. You have nothing to worry about".

"Nothing? You come here gods know how often to raise dead animals to play with. That's not normal, Nico!" Percy realized, too late, that he was practically screaming at the other boy.

The son of Hades looked up at him, eyes a bit glassy, and said in a small voice:

"No, Percy, I am not _normal_. I don't have any living pets, since the ones that are alive hate that I smell like the underworld, like death . And I don't have friends either, thanks for reminding me of that. Thank you for pointing out that the only things willing to be near me are the things I can actually command to do so." he tried to sound spiteful and angry, but there was too much sorrow in his voice it was impossible not to notice. He turned around and walked away briskly, his distress causing all dead animals to rise again and try to comfort their master.

Nico didn't seem to notice that he soon had a small army of skeletons, not until it got big enough to make a sound that would wake a sleeping giant. When he realized that he waved his hand over his makeshift platoon and put them to rest. He went into his cabin, locked the door and threw himself on his still unmade bed. Then, and only then, did he allow himself to cry.

* * *

Nico was still on his bed, curled around his pillows and snuggled under his blankets, in a vain attempt of warming his heart that felt like an icicle at the moment: cold, breakable and full of sharp edges. He wasn't upset because of what Percy said. Ok, fine, he was. But that wasn't the sole cause of his sorrow, it was only the starting point: the words had hurt him, but the fact that they came from Percy made their effect much worse. They were merely the beginning of a downward spiral of negative thoughts and self-loathing, and _that _was the true reason for his admittedly pathetic state.

There was a knock on the door, followed by an utterance of his name filled with an enthusiasm that informed him that the one at his door was none other than the son of Jupiter. He got up from his bed and opened the door, not bothering to fix his hair or wash his face. He knew he looked like shit, and he couldn't care less. He took some odd pleasure at watching Jason's face as the blonde took in the appearance of the black haired demigod.

"What the hell happened?"

Nico turned around and went back to bed, in a silent request for Jason to follow him in. Thankfully the Roman understood and went in, shutting and locking the door behind him (he knew of Nico's door-locking habits).

The son of Hades was already under the covers once more. The only visible parts of him were his dark eyes, which were currently glistening with tears. He scooted backwards until his back was against the wall, leaving a big space in front of him. Jason didn't need a verbal invitation. He kicked off his shoes, laid down beside the pale demigod and opened his arms. Wordlessly, Nico crawled forward into his embrace and sobbed against his chest.

* * *

Percy felt awful.

He'd tried to help, but only wound up hurting the other half-blood. He'd said something stupid, too: none of them were _normal_, they were the offspring of ancient Greek gods for crying out loud! They had godly abilities to go with that status too. He remembered that one time that Katie Gardner got angry at Travis and accidentally grew a whole garden of poisonous plants (the Hecate kids were delighted, they had enough ingredients to last quite a while).

So he decided to apologize. He felt the urge to put on his armor to confront Nico but convinced himself not to. He hoped to catch him at lunch, but he didn't show up. Same thing with dinner. He had no other choice but to go to Cabin 13 and hope the son of Hades hadn't shadow travelled to China or something.

He knocked and the door opened surprisingly fast. It was surprising, however, that he was greeted by a pissed off son of Jupiter.

"Jason? What are you..."

"Keep your voice down " the blonde whisper yelled "he finally fell asleep" then over his shoulder he called "Hazel, look who came to visit"

Percy heard quiet footsteps from inside the cabin, and the daughter of Pluto emerged. He swallowed thickly. Jason was pissed, but Hazel was livid. Her stern golden gaze had none of its usual warmth, and seemed to be imagining the best way to skin him alive.

"Hello, Percy. You see, Jason came to visit Nico only to find him severely upset. He IM'd me and I rode Arion to get here. He wouldn't tell us anything, the only thing we gathered was that it had something to do with you" her expression hardened even more "so we are going to have a little talk."

* * *

The son of Poseidon had no option but to follow her. Apparently she didn't want to risk waking up her brother, so she led them away from the cabin and into the woods. They walked on a single file, with Hazel leading and Jason making sure the one in the middle wouldn't bolt (Percy sure as hell wanted to, so it wasn't that unjustified). She led them to a clearing and turned around to face him.

"Now tell us what you did"

Percy felt like he was on trial. He fully expected Hazel to make him swear on the Styx to tell the truth, and only the truth. Thankfully she didn't. He didn't plan on lying, but swearing on that river made him uncomfortable.

So he told his story truthfully, no oath needed and finished his report with the following:

"... and then I kind of yelled that raising dead pets wasn't normal and he got upset and left raising a whole dead petting zoo as he went"

"You told him _what_?" Jason yelled, making lightning touch down an inch from Percy's sneakers.

The nearly fried demigod yelped in surprise and took a step back.

"Yes, I know it was stupid but..."

"Oh no, Percy" Hazel said, voice low even as precious stones gathered around her" you have no idea just how _stupid _that comment was" she looked ready to use some very sharp gems as projectiles" we were almost making him accept it, he was doing so well" she said sorrowfully.

"What do you mean? What was he accepting, Hazel?"

"Well, he is..."

"That is quite enough, Hazel" a new voice interrupted.

They all whirled around to face the newcomer. It was, unsurprisingly, Nico.

"Nico!" Jason started "How did you…"

"You weren't exactly quiet, you know" the son of Hades cut him off "and your lightning bolt pretty much gave your location away." he shrugged "Now as I was saying, you've already said enough. Both of you. So if you'd kindly shut…"

"No!" Percy interrupted angrily "I was _this_ close" he held up his thumb and pointer finger close to each other "to finding out what the hell is your issue. And I want to know. So one of you tell me already! You are all acting like it is _so_ obvious, as if I should already know and that is annoying beyond belief!"

"You _want_ to know?" the pale demigod said, voice tight with fury "What makes you think you have the right to know? What makes you think that you can make it better? If anything, you'll make it worse!" his voice had become louder and more panicked until it cracked on the last sentence.

The son of Poseidon picked up on the change in Nico's demeanor, and acted accordingly:

"I do think I can make it better. Or, at the very least, know how to not make it worse." Percy said softly, with the tone he used on frightened horses.

"No." Nico said shaking his head frantically, trying to keep it together "I've already decided what I'm going to do." Jason and Hazel looked at him expectantly; as if that piece of news was a surprise to them "I am going to stay away. I want nothing to do with it, I have nothing to gain but more pain. I'm done with the whole deal. Screw it. Some people were meant to be like this, some pieces are too broken to have a pair. So I'm giving up before it breaks me. You hear me, Aphrodite?" he screamed at the sky "I give up! Now leave me alone!" he slumped against a tree, pulling his jacket tighter around himself "Leave me alone" he said again, softly, more like a plea.

Hazel ran to him, as did Jason, both trying to comfort the boy under the tree. Percy was trying to piece things together. People liked to mock him for his stupidity, but he was actually smart. Not Athena's-offspring smart, but still.

"Aphrodite? So you are like this" he gestured to the distraught child of the Underworld "because of a girl?" he said, but even as the words left his mouth he knew they were wrong. Nico was strong and capable; he wouldn't fall apart because of some girl. The Ghost King was being uncharacteristically emotional as of late, it was true, but the son of Poseidon had a sneaking suspicion he had said something to kick start this… situation.

His question was met by silence and some glares coming from the other demigods in the clearing. He thought again. He considered the time Nico came from, and what could have been so revolting in his time-misplaced mind that made him so sad and resentful? Percy made a list of what he knew to be old-timey prejudices: they had been against interracial marriage, women's rights, Afro-American rights, gay people... Wait. That was the only thing that made sense.

"It wasn't a girl, was it?" he started, slowly "Nico, are you…"

"Don't say it." the son of Hades interrupted "Please don't."

That was enough confirmation for Percy. Then it hit him just how Nico must've interpreted his "you're not normal" rant. He felt like slapping himself. Hazel had been right, he hadn't known just how stupid that comment had been. He sighed and walked closer to the miserable demigod under the tree.

"I'm sorry. For earlier. But you have to know I didn't mean it that way. There's nothing wrong with who you are, I just wanted you to be more sociable and make more friends. But now I see that a lot of what I said to you might've been hurtful, just know I never meant for it to offend you or make you feel bad about yourself."

Nico looked up at him, disbelief written in his gaze "You're really ok with it? Me being… this way?"

"Of course I am. It's still you, isn't it? Why would I care if you end up with a girl of a boy?"

Nico's face fell, and a few tears gathered in his eyes. The daughter of Pluto and the son of Jupiter stared at him murderously, and he knew he'd screwed up. But how? He remembered how Nico had reacted to his touch that morning, how happily he'd said his name this morning, and the way he'd whispered about it being a dream…_Oh_. Oh, gods on Olympus, he was stupid.

"Hazel, Jason, could you leave us alone for now? I think I figured something out."

Said half-bloods must've guessed, from his shocked expression, that he'd _finally_ put it all together. With a last threatening, hurt-him-and-I'll-kill-you glare they left the woods.

Percy stepped closer to the pale demigod, than sat on the ground so that they were more or less on the same height. Not that it mattered, as the other half-blood seemed to find the forest floor absolutely fascinating.

"Nico? It isn't just the fact that you're… different that is bothering you, is it?"

The other boy shook his head slowly, still not looking up. The grass around them had begun to die, though the fact that it was late at night made it less noticeable.

"There is someone, a specific someone, that you like, isn't there?"

Nico nodded, and the tree he was up against began to shed leaves as if its life force was being drained. Percy decided to hurry up before they pissed of a dryad. He swallowed thickly, preparing his last question.

"Is it me?" he whispered.

"Yes." Nico whispered back.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I'm so, so …"

"Will you stop apologizing?" he said angrily "What could you possibly have done if you'd known sooner? Would you have chosen me over Annabeth? I don't think so."

"Maybe not, but I could've been more considerate about your feelings!"

"It doesn't matter. I got used to it"

"You shouldn't have to. I should've paid more attention."

"Yes, maybe you should've. But it is pointless to worry about the past, there's nothing you can change about that now."

"But I hurt you! I am still hurting you! How can you ask me to forget about that?"

"And you're going to do what?" Nico's voice rose "Declare your undying love for me? Shower me in affection to make up for all the times you ignored me? Say that you like me back? I don't want your pity."

"I don't know, ok?" Percy yelled back.

"Of course you don't know what to do about it" the son of Hades scoffed "You've…"

"No, I didn't mean I don't know what to do about it" Percy said, his face feeling warm.

"Then what…"

"I meant that I don't know if I like you back"

Nico gaped at him. Then his eyes narrowed and he said:

"You don't get to do this. You don't get to toy with my feelings!"

"Nico…"

"I will make you spend an eternity in Asphodel…"

"Nico! Calm down! I'm not toying with you, I swear it on the Styx!" Thunder rumbled above their heads, and the son of Hades relaxed a bit.

"You're not playing with me? Then…"

"I'm not saying I am madly in love with you or anything. All I know is that I think you look adorable when you sleep; your laugh is nice; your smile is… well, it's beautiful" he blushed at that "and I liked seeing how happy you were with the skeleton pets. I want to see you like that more often, and I would like to be the one causing it."

"Percy, what are you saying?" Nico asked tentatively, his skin rosy from all the compliments.

"I'm saying that I'm willing to give it a try. I've never really thought about you, or any guy in fact, that way, so we'll have to take it slow. Are you ok with that?"

The Ghost King was biting his lip, trying to hide a smile. He nodded hastily, and then pulled the older demigod into a hug. Then he quickly tried to let go, muttering an apology. Emphasis on tried.

"No, let me hug you. I've always wanted to, but you always looked like you'd kill whoever tried" Percy chuckled good-naturedly, not letting Nico out of his embrace. He readjusted them so that the smaller half-blood was sitting between his legs. He found that he had no problem with the proximity between them, he rather enjoyed it. The son of Hades seemed to fit perfectly with the contours of his body, and he found himself tightening his arms around the younger boy.

Nico took advantage of the fact that Percy couldn't see him and was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. He snuggled closer to the green-eyed boy's chest, sighing contently. He was, for once, happy. That didn't solve all of his problems, nor did it rid him of his insecurities, but since they were taking things slow he'd have plenty of time (and support) to work out his issues.

They stayed like that until the son of the sea god started shivering from the cold.

"We should go back to our cabins. Before a harpy comes and eats us, or you wake half the camp with the chattering of your teeth" Nico said playfully.

"Yeah, sure, but there's something I'd like to try first" he answered, sounding nervous.

Before Nico could even ask what it was, he felt Percy's lips against his own. It was a simple chaste kiss, but it was enough to make his heart stutter in his chest and make them both grin like idiots when they parted.

"We should definitely try that more often" the Ghost King said, and the older demigod nodded.

They got up, brushed themselves off and walked towards the camp. Percy, ever the gentleman, insisted to walk the son of Hades to his cabin. On the porch of Cabin 13 he stole another kiss, and as Nico went to bed feeling almost giddy with happiness, he thought that _maybe_ he'd be more than just fine, for a change.

* * *

**[A/N] Hello!**

**Well, I hope you guys liked it! Feedback is appreciated, and keep in mind English is not my native language.**

**Oh, and for the record, the Nico-playing-with-skeleton-pets came from these images by Viria:**

** post/65239052555/dead-animals-love-nico-lets-take-a-guess-on-a**


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